While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,”Are there any gators around here?!”
“Naw,” the man hollered back, “they ain’t been around for years!”
Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.
About halfway there he asked the guy,”How’d you get rid of the gators?”
“We didn’t do nothin’,” the beachcomber said. “Sharks got ‘em.”
“Naw,” the man hollered back, “they ain’t been around for years!”
Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.
About halfway there he asked the guy,”How’d you get rid of the gators?”
“We didn’t do nothin’,” the beachcomber said. “Sharks got ‘em.”
A man went fishing one day.
He looked over the side of his boat and saw a snake with a frog in its mouth. Feeling sorry for the frog, he reached down, gently took the frog from the snake, and set the frog free.
But then he felt sorry for the snake. He looked around the boat, but he had no food. All he had was a bottle of bourbon. So he opened the bottle and gave the snake a few drops.
The snake went off happy, the frog was happy, and the man was happy to have performed such good deeds.
He thought everything was great until about ten minutes passed and he heard something knock against the side of the boat.
When the fisherman looked down he saw the snake was back--with two frogs!
He looked over the side of his boat and saw a snake with a frog in its mouth. Feeling sorry for the frog, he reached down, gently took the frog from the snake, and set the frog free.
But then he felt sorry for the snake. He looked around the boat, but he had no food. All he had was a bottle of bourbon. So he opened the bottle and gave the snake a few drops.
The snake went off happy, the frog was happy, and the man was happy to have performed such good deeds.
He thought everything was great until about ten minutes passed and he heard something knock against the side of the boat.
When the fisherman looked down he saw the snake was back--with two frogs!
A boy was out fishing one day when instead of a fish, he reels in a frog that had eaten the minnow he was using for bait.
When he got it off his hook, the frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He immediately takes the frog and puts it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful Princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I'll stay with you and do *Anything* you want." Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally the frog asked, "What is it? I've told you I'm a beautiful Princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do *Anything* you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The boy said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for girlfriends, but a talking frog is really cool!!"
When he got it off his hook, the frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He immediately takes the frog and puts it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful Princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I'll stay with you and do *Anything* you want." Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally the frog asked, "What is it? I've told you I'm a beautiful Princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do *Anything* you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The boy said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for girlfriends, but a talking frog is really cool!!"
Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked,
"Whatcha doing, Tim?"
"My goldfish died," replied the boy tearfully, without looking up. "And I've just buried him."
The neighbor was a little surprised. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied with a little smile, "That's because he's inside your cat."
"Whatcha doing, Tim?"
"My goldfish died," replied the boy tearfully, without looking up. "And I've just buried him."
The neighbor was a little surprised. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied with a little smile, "That's because he's inside your cat."